Those Damn Lilacs

The lilacs off the corner of our deck this month came into full bloom, as they do every year. I love them. And I hate them. And for the same reason. They remind me of our daughter Shauna, but at the same time they remind us that this is the time of year we lost her.  

Twenty-five years ago today. A quarter century. Hard to believe. But even after all these years, she’s still right there, in my heart. In our hearts.  

It’s true what they say, that the grieving for a lost child doesn’t end. But it does change. It goes from all encompassing, to bearable, to something we simply learn to live with.  

Our thoughts often go to parents who are just starting their grief journey, like the moms and dads from that terrible school shooting in Texas, or the parents caught in the war in the Ukraine. Or closer to home whenever we hear of a car accident or anything else that claims a young life before its time. 

It’s a heightened level of empathy I don’t think we would otherwise have. It’s because, I guess, it’s a reminder of that fateful day 25 years ago. There will be more families hit with tragedies as that’s how life goes. And while we will feel for the loved ones left to mourn, for us it will simply be another reminder of our loss, just like those damn lilacs. 

Shauna Mary Catherine Matheson, February 13, 1983 - June 7, 1997

Always loved, sadly missed, forever remembered,  

Dad, Mom, Quentin, Richard, Alex and Coleen.